I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
