I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
