He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
