This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
