so that wasnt chicken after all
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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