Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
These tits shall not be calmed
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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