Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
