I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I AM VODKA MAN
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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