I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
