thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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