what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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