where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
you inspire me to be a worse person
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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