i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
