Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
