She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
