hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
