Having a random hookup so left but love u
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
