I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
