just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
