U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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