you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
