hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
