come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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