It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
