I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
