Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
