i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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