hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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