I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
