so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
