Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
