im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
