I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
