I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
