just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You can't special order awesome
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
