I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
