if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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