If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
