are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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