On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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