i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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