Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Boobs are out for the taking
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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