...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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