U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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