At least make sure they are 18
Why
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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