his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
