We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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