dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
