that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
