My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize