what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
