piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
